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So its been two days since ive written anything in here, and i feel like so much has happened. But, i will just quickly jot down the few events that happened this evening because it was oh, so embarrassing.
ok, so this morning i had my first midterm. Psych. Cake.
i was feeling it
so, tomorrow i have another one. Womens studies. And this is coming from me, who wanted so badly to be this radical feminist. And uh, im gonna fail the thing. But i think iapos;ll be able to accept that this is probably not what God wants for me. It will all be okay so naeta couldnt make my TAapos;s review session, so i just took good notes and read them out for her. And then, she read me what she had jotted down, then proceeded to ask me questions. Like a teacher....oh yeah, she has a crudential. Like, naeta is so cool, and i didnt want to seem like an idiot to her. But i did. It kinda sucks hardcore. So, like, i have to do better next time and show her that im not as stupid as she thinks i am right now. But the hard thing is, i dont have time to do all this outside research and UNDERSTAND whats going on, because i have so much going on. Its really difficult. So anyways, it always comes back to the point that i cant think critically, especially on the spot. I get so nervous. Its ridiculous. When she was asking me all the questions, i felt my palms sweating. Teachers really intimidate me and so did she man
im so humiliated right now. I never want to have dinner with her, or leave my room again.
but iapos;ll probably see her tomorrow morning.
oh, im dreading this
and i have to write a paper too for that class
and its going to suck
this is really sucking right now
im just going to hope for the best
but now she thinks im super stupid
but its not fair that im just not as smart as her
shes like seriously, really, really smart
and she has this thing called common sense and she knows how to make and see links in information.
im insanely jealous
plus shes nice...but she can be blunter than i
so shes like brian, minus the bullshit
or like gyasi, but louder and more intimidating
but more like brian because she stresses the classics
as in music
not good, modern stuff
anyways, im just humiliated and that was the moral of the story.
oh, college life is so hard sometimes.

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Being a fucken dyke is gay.

I got guys coming at me (not to boast but I donapos;t see this as a good thing) left right and center. Dudes that would screw me in a second. Now I needa get laid, not just laid, but laid laid.

Laid as in laid from someone that I WANT to fuck unlike the few other times that Iapos;ve been with a guy. And thatapos;d be a female cause Iapos;m a stupid flamer. Man screw these fucken head chemicals Iapos;m gonna get surgery to change my orientation to straight.

Gee and youapos;d think after being raped you wouldnapos;t want to be touched ever again. Well I do, by a woman damnit If anything that makes me more attracted to women, but thatapos;s understandable.

I hate women cause I love them >:(
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These 2.5 weeks that Iapos;ve been working out Iapos;ve been practically constantly in high spirits=) Thatapos;s amazing=) No matter that Iapos;m aching all over, itapos;s definitely worth that
Last week I and 3 other "lucky" girls were given the task to create a broucher about our department for a Swedish delegation... And, besides, we were asked to work as interpreters for them.... Probably itapos;s a good chance for me as a future specialist.... But why do I feel as if Iapos;m constantly used by the university?????
And this weekend was the longest ever fro it started on Thursday=) Thatapos;s why I spent it outside)) I watched an amazing movie... The Admiral... It reveals our horrifying past... And makes me wonder what would be with Russia if the Bolsheviks hadnapos;t captured the power..... But the movie is very clever, full of pure, innocent, true love and religious beliefs... I donapos;t remeber ever crying in the cinema... That was the first time...

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Datum: 17-10-2008� � Locatie: Gelredome, Arnhem� �Gebeurtenis: Concert Wit Licht van Marco Borsato

Al weer maanden geleden kreeg ik een mailtje van Ramoon, of ik weer zin had in het concert van Marco Borsato. Zij is lid van de fanclub dus ze mag als eerste kaarten bestellen. Natuuuuuuurlijk heb ik daar weer zin in. Heb er de vorige 2 keren zo van genoten dus deze mocht ik ook niet missen.

Vrijdag 17 oktober was het aan ons de beurt om naar Arnhem te gaan. Een goede vriend van mij had me aangeboden om me in Arnhem te brengen, want Clau (mijn zus) en Ramoon waren die dag in Hoofddorp en kwamen daar vandaan. Ik was al lang blij dat ik niet met de trein hoefde en het was nog eens superleuk gezelschap ook.�
Eenmaal aangekomen moest ik nog even een half uurtje wachten op Jut en Jul want die waren er nog niet. We stierven alledrie van de honger dus eerst in een rap tempo naar de Mac voor een hoogstaand culinair diner (met xtra mayo haha).

En toen........ Precies op het moment dat wij binnen kwamen lopen, begon het. Hij begon heerlijk met nummers uit de oude doos, er waren gastoptredens van Daniel Bossevain (wat is ie lekkerrrrrrr), Huub Stapel en nog een meneer waarvan de naam me even ontschoten is.
Al met al was het weer een heerlijke avond. Ik heb ontzettend genoten De fotos volgen nog maar die staan thuis op de pc.

De terugreis ging nog even met wat strubbelingen, mensen kwijt, ongelukken, files maar om 02.00 uur kwam ik eindelijk moe maar voldaan bij mijn moeder thuis. Daar is het feest nog tot in de late of juist vroege uurtjes doorgegaan.

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I try to avoid talking about politics. Iapos;ve learned over the years that no one ever wins the argument as it often seems to escalate to. No one that I have ever spoken to at great length who differed on my political viewpoints had ever changed my mind. I know I hadnapos;t changed thiers, either. Although, there have been times that I have�stood corrected on misconceptions that I had with the opposing party. I like to think I am open minded.

Dad and I have never agreed on politics. Ever. Growing up, youapos;d think that I would have been shaped by my parents beliefs and stances but I took the other�sides in many areas. Religion, equal rights and especially politics.

In the past, MANY times in the past, our debates would become so heated that I think it bordered on resentment. Sad, really. So, over time, I just learned to not take the bait so to speak. He would make comments and quips about subjects he knew were antagonizing. I learned to ignore them and when I eventually moved, they ceased to happen anymore.

I received an emal from�my�Dad�called "Bar Stool Economics" which was written by a college professor from Georgia basically dumbing down the tax system for the "Joe six-packs" (*rolls eyes*). The point of the email was to slam Obamaapos;s tax agenda. I knew I shouldnt have replied to it but I took the bait. Here comes the resent...*sigh*....

But, it didnapos;t happen that way.

My Dad was actually respectful and seemed to really want to know why I was supporting Obama. Not, once did I feel I needed to go on the defense. Which is VERY unusual with my father.

We proceeded to email (since we live in different states) back and forth a few times our concerns and opinions and not once did it turn hostile. I actually understood where he was coming from, I still donapos;t agree, but I felt something changed between us. He seems vulnerable and uncertain, like me.
�
Wow.

I guess thats all I�can really say.


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A. Post a list of up to 20 books/movies/anime/TV shows/video games/etc. That youapos;ve had an obsessive fannish love of at some time in your life.

B. Have your flist guess your favorite character and/or pairing from each item

01. Heroes
02. Bleach
03. Supernatural
04. Harry Potter
05. Final Fantasy 12
06. Naruto
07. X-Files
08. Final Fantasy 10
09. Trinity Blood
10. Marvel Comics
11. DC Comics
12. Busou Renkin
13. Fushigi Yuugi
14. Monster (manga)
15. Smallville
16. Kekkaishi
17. Lord of the Rings (movies)
18. Rurouni Kenshin
19. Dragonball/Dragonball Z
20. Hitchhikerapos;s Guide to the Galaxy (movie)
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We took them to the State Fair yesterday with a group of friends.� Little D mostly stared and stared.� Miss M rode the swings, her first (and second) roller-coaster, the Ferris wheel and a few other rides, won a stuffed frog playing a game and in general had a wonderful time.� Today she and I made cupcakes.� I helped measure ingredients, ensure batter was fully mixed, prep pans and test with a toothpick.� She did the rest, especially licking the bowl and taste-testing the results.� Mmmm-good

Little D has made his first three baby signs (once each) and you can tell heapos;s listening to her a lot.� They were "change" while on the changing pad, "Thank you" and "Youapos;re welcome" at appropriate spots in the conversation around him, although he was apos;speakingapos; for others.� As I joked at dinner, if his first spoken word is Thanks, Iapos;m writing the Chief Rabbi about my best-Jew son.
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